By Chad Smart
TNA (or Impact Wrestling) is holding one of their Basebrawl shows in Marion, IL on June 10. The local ESPN radion station is holding a contest where the winner will get to "manage" a wrestler during the show. Anyone who wanted to enter had to email their ideas for how they would interere during the match. The following is what I wrote as my entry. Even if I don't win, I expect to use these tactics during the show.
While the art of the wrestling manager has been pretty much gone the way of the dodo, if given the right circumstances managers could become useful once again the the wrestling industry. One of the trademarks of a good manager is the ability to interfere and allow his charge the ability to get the upperhand on his opponent. Bobby "the Brain" Heenan was a master of distracting the referee. Jimmy "Mouth of the South" Hart and "Classy" Freddie Blassie would get the referee's attention allowing their wrestlers to use Jimmy's megaphone and Freddie's cane behind the ref's back. But that was the 80s. What would make for good manager interference today, specifically for the TNA Basebrawl show this week. Here are some ideas.
While normally the manager would be escorting a heel wrestler because a heel getting the better of a face due to underhanded tactics, TNA's faces are pretty bland so they'd fall for any generic taunt. In order to really get the crowd riled, I think taunting the heels would make for a more entertaining experience. Here are a few examples.
Matt Hardy: The no-brainer idea would be to try and get Matt riled up by saying something about his brother Jeff, the former TNA world champion who is awaiting charges for drug possesion. While there's a lot to work with there, the better taunt would be to wait until Matt has KAZ in place for a Twist of Fate. Right as Matt is doing his patented yell, the manager would pull out a bag of grapes. The manager would taunt Hardy with the grapes, eating some and asking Matt if he wanted some grapes. This would be in response to a video Hardy posted on youtube a few months back where he was training and eating grapes. Matt would become obsessed with getting his hands on some grapes, he would forget about KAZ, allowing KAZ to get an easy schoolboy for the pin.
Jeff Jarrett: In order to distract Jeff, simply look to wrestling's past and come to the ring with a manilla envelope. During the match, the manager would get on the apron, hold up the envelope and scream, "Jeff! Before she was yours, she was mine!" Then the manager insinuates the envelope contains pictures of Karen Jarrett in comprimising positions. Of course this could backfire since Kurt Angle is also in the ring and he could take offense of you having pictures of his ex-wife.
Robbie E.: this would be the easiest and best. When Robbie starts fist pumping, the manager would put on a headband that says, "woo woo woo" tell Robbie, he's no Zack Ryder, then pull out a cellphone and pull up an episode of True Long Island Story on youtube and show Robbie how a real broski rolls. Woo woo woo, you know it.
If those ways don't work and you need something more drastic, just pull a Flair. Strip down to your boxer shorts and elbow drop the mat over and over. If THAT doesn't distract everyone, nothing will.