Thursday, April 5, 2012

Spoilers...No Seriously, You've Been Warned

Photo courtesy: Fox
By Aaron Heller, "the Wrestling Roommate"
@stillreal2me on Twitter

Editors note: The Wrestling Roommate is an exaggeration of the truth, not to be taken too seriously.

So let me tell you a little story about Mr. Ring Post Testa himself. Adam, easily one of my best friends, has a problem…. Adam likes to be on the net, when I say this I don’t mean, “Hey have you seen the wall post I put on Facebook last week?” I mean Adam might need an intervention.

 Most nights Adam has Twitter, Facebook, and Skype open on his Mac. He also sits there with his Droid going off about every 10 seconds. If it didn’t make me laugh a little inside it would annoy me. Not because I hear his ringtone and messengers going off nonstop, but because Adam can’t unplug long enough to actually enjoy a show.  Most of the time Adam knows the outcome of a show before it airs. I don’t know why he actually watches anything.

Photo courtesy: AMC
This is fine if he wants to live that way, however the problem I have is that he generally doesn’t keep this knowledge to himself. Adam also has a very skewed opinion of spoilers, mind you I don’t even watch trailers for some video games or movies because I like the experience. Adam thinks that sitting there during The Walking Dead and repeating “oh the prison, oh the prison” like he did at the end of season two isn’t a spoiler. Most people would probably agree, however I knew that REMOVED (yea I don’t want to spoil it for you) was going to shoot REMOVED because Adam let it slip. Now, Adam generally makes his joke about me saying “If I told you the boat sank at the end of Titanic you would be yelling about spoilers.” My only answer to that is, somewhere there is a member of the Jersey Shore who thinks an “Iceberg” is a drink that contains vodka.

Let me clue you in on the first 10 seconds of me walking in the door every day after work:  ​Aaron walks in the door, sees Adam on the couch watching some wrestling DVD, computer open with Twitter, Facebook, WWE.com, the Baltimore Sun’s website and some other random site about whatever show he is into that week.

Adam: What’s up?
Aaron: Nothi-
Adam: Everyone is just in a expletive deleted church?!
Aaron: -_- I’m going to bed….

Brock's back (Courtesy WWE)
The worst thing about this is that Adam just doesn’t get it. I knew that Brock Lesnar was coming back 6 weeks ago because Adam knew it. Adam told me that the Rock was going over at Wrestlemania 28 after Wrestlemania 18 went off the air. I don’t know how he knows this stuff, but he does and it makes watching anything with him infuriating. He even ruined the Bible for me, (the main character comes back at the end.)

In his honor we here at My 1-2-3 Cents present to you this public service announcement about spoilers….please…..

Click here for College Humor's take.

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