Thursday, February 4, 2016

"Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff scarred me for life

Mr. Wonderful: The bendie 
By Kevin Hunsperger
@kevinhunsperger & @my123cents on Twitter
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Growing up in the 80's I had most of the LJN WWF wrestling figures.  They were not dolls!  I would come up with dream matches all the time as I clunked the big rubber wrestlers around the ring.  After the first couple of rounds of the larger figures, LJN introduced us to smaller, bendable Superstars.

I didn't have nearly as many of these, but I did have was "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff.   One Saturday night I was bored and laying in bed watching "The 3 Stooges" on KPLR (St. Louis readers know what I'm talking about).  I was about 13 at the time, old enough to know what I was about to do was stupid...

In one hand I had the Mr. Wonderful figure.  The other hand a pocket knife.  I proceed to cut down Orndorff's spine with the blade.  To this day, I don't know what possessed me to do this.  But what happened next is even more mind boggling.  With the knife stuck in his back, I rammed Mr. Wonderful into the wall.  When I did, the blade folded down and sunk into my right index finger.

You can kinda see the scar in this 

I immediately dropped the weapon and my victimized wrestling figure. I ran into the bathroom in an attempt to clean up the blood.  After a few minutes of pressure, my parents determined I did not need stitches.  I can still remember trying to explain what had happened and why I did it.  

Some 30 years later I still have the scar on my finger.  It's not a badge of honor like most scars.  Instead I view it as a moment of stupidity in my teenage life.  Moral of the story: don't play with knives, the experience isn't "wonderful."  


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