Friday, May 4, 2012

May the 4th Be With You

By Kevin Hunsperger
@kevinhunsperger & @my123cents on Twitter

Since it's Star Wars Day (May the 4th Be With You), I decided let my inner geek out even more so than usual.  So I'm booking wrestling stars from the present against some of my favorite Star Wars characters.  Keep in mind though, that most of my knowledge is with episodes four, five, and six.

Here's my Star Wars Wrestling Federation card:
Commentators for the night: Yoda & Jim Ross

Skywalker vs. Cena
Luke Skywalker vs. John Cena: Both seem to use "the force" to battle the odds and come from behind for the victory.  Like him or not, Cena is still the company's biggest baby face in my opinion, so it only makes sense to put him in there with the original trilogy's ultimate good guy.

Darth Vader vs. The Undertaker: I was originally going to go with Vader vs. Vader here, but I decided to tweak my own rules and go with today's wrestling stars.  Undertaker makes sense here as he's been such a dominate force for two decades.  Although he's been a face for the vast majority of his career, when he was Big Evil, he reminded me of Lord Vader, getting into the minds and souls of his followers.

Solo vs. Punk
Han Solo vs. CM Punk:  Two smart asses who are on a quest to show they're the best in the world.  Both guys could also be "the top dog" if only they could step out of their counterparts shadow in Skywalker and Cena.  I wonder how Punk would look in carbonite?

Princess Leia vs. Beth Phoenix:  Two strong, independent women who know what they want.  They have both kicked butt and taken names along the way.  How could you go wrong?

Chewbacca vs. The Big Show:  Two big guys who spend a lot of time playing second fiddle to the ones they're around.  Both are strong and would by no means put on a technical showcase, but I think there would be a lot of fun had in a match between these two behemoths.

Obi-Wan Kenobi vs. Ric Flair:  Two legends go toe to toe.  One of these guys knew when to hang it up though...

Anakin Skywalker vs. Daniel Bryan:  Yes, yes, yes! I'm aware that Anakin and Darth Vader are the same person, but for the sake of this blog they are two separate characters in the movies.  Both started off (at least Bryan in the WWE/NXT) as baby faces and have since turned to the dark side.

C3PO vs. Jericho
C3PO vs. Chris Jericho:  Stay with me on this one.  The Droid who is fluent in over six million forms of communication against the wrestler who once claimed to be the man of 1004 holds.  Plus, C3PO has his colorful, flashy droid buddy R2-D2, and Jericho has that awesomely flashy jacket.  I smell instant classic.

The Emperor vs. Hulk Hogan: Both seem to have a choke hold on their respective industries and refuse to let go.  At least someone finally broke the Emperor's amazing grip.

Anakin Solo vs. Randy Orton:  This is set up to be a battle between two third generation stars.  Solo has the Force on his side, Orton has the Cowboy.

Padme Amidala vs. Natalya Neidhart:  While I feel like Natalya is one of the best Divas on the roster, I think the WWE will finally recognize that too and she'll be a queen of the ring in the company's eyes.  Both women have a lineage in their respective fields.

Lando Calrissian vs. Cody Rhodes: Lando was the coolest guy in the galaxy far, far away and in my opinion Cody is the coolest guy on SmackDown.  It's the battle of two prima donnas in my view.

Boba Fett vs. Dolph Ziggler:  Both of these heels seem to be over with fans and have a cult following.

Jabba vs. Hawkins & Hatton
Jabba the Hut vs. Heath (Jay) Hatton & Ace Hawkins (Aaron Relic): Because 2 is greater than 1, duh.

Darth Maul vs. Sheamus: Darth Maul is a badass.  So is Sheamus.  And they're both red heads. (Sorry, I don't have much more here)

Jar-Jar Binks vs. Kharma:  Only booking this so we can watch Kharma destroy Jar-Jar and squash him with the Implant Buster.

Bail Organa & Mace Windu vs. Kofi Kingston & RTruth: I'll be honest, I'm not sure what kind of alliance Bail and Mace had, but let's face it, this is a WWE tag team title match, so

The Max Rebo Band vs. The Batiri: If you're not a Chikara fan you won't get this reference.  I'd suggest looking up them up.  This could be an entertaining matchup to say the least.

Three Storm Troopers vs. The Colony:  Another Chikara inspired match.  The Colony is an army of ants, they'd fight hard to defend the honor of wrestling against Lord Vader's team of stooges.

Wicket W. Warrick vs. Hornswoggle:  This would be a feature match for the kids.  Who doesn't love a cuddly little Ewok in their with a cuddly little Leprechuen?

Who would you put on your Star Wars wrestling card?  Post here or on our Facebook wall.  Don't forget to like us.  May the Force Be with You!

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