She Loves Me Not

Wow...
8th Grade me

By Kevin Hunsperger

@kevinhunsperger & @my123cents on Twitter
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For some reason, my self deprecating stories from the teenage years seem to be popular.  I don't write them to complain or seek pity, but instead to let young people struggling today know that they're not alone and to let adults know we were all in that same awkward and agonizing boat.  There's also a feel good part at the end, wait for it...

Today's tale is about Valentine's Day and  middle school.  What a dreadful combination.  In sixth grade I got glasses, and admittedly, they didn't do me any favors.  Along with the large hunk of plastic and metal I wore in my mouth to straighten my teeth before I could even get braces, I wasn't on anyone's Valentine's Day list.  I still remember 30 years later a girl told me, "your looks are your parents' fault, your personality is your fault."  And no, she didn't offer me any ice after that burn.

Fast forward two years to eighth grade, and I was still that same nerdy dude, trying to make it through the day.  I wasn't bullied or beaten up.  I feel like I kinda fit in, but as they say, the grass is always greener on the other side, especially in the hallways of middle school.  Kids were dating then, but I was far from that happening.  My main crush that year shot me down every time I talked to her or even looked in her direction.  Despite the cold shoulder, I never really got the point.

Blow Pops

That year I was in a class called Creative Writing.  We put together the student newspaper each month and for Valentine's Day that year we decided to hold a fundraiser.  I can't remember the exact name, but I it was something like Heart Grams, which included a hand written note and a Blow Pop.  We sold the grams during lunch periods the week of the big holiday and then delivered the messages of love and admiration during the last hour of school.

Each day I eagerly awaited to see if anyone had a message for me.  But as each day passed, I discovered that love was not in the air for me.  Cupid's arrow had hit me, as I sent several to that crush, but the thought was not mutual.  I finally did get a Heart Gram on that Friday afternoon.  Written in red ink a simple message of appreciation signed Mrs. W with a smiley face.  Mrs. W was our beloved teacher, Mrs. Weissflug.   

Mrs. Weissflug RIP

Despite receiving that one message, I was still heartbroken.  I remember getting home from school that afternoon, going to my room and bawling my eyes out, thinking I was destined to be alone forever.  Remember, I was just 13 years old at the time, and the teenage brain is wired very differently.  Once I stopped blubbering I looked at that message again from Mrs. Weissflug.  Yes, I was having a pity party that no girl was interested in me, but then I considered this... 

There were some people who likely didn't get ANY Heart Grams during the week, and at least someone thought enough of me to send a message.  It may not have been an expression of teen love, but it did mean something to me.  That was 27 years ago.  I've never forgotten that day or that simple message.  Mrs. Weissflug is no longer with us, so there's no way she'll know just how much I appreciated that note.  It really did put things into perspective for me that afternoon.

I've had many teachers who have made an impact on me through the years.  It's such an important profession, and those who are dealing with those pre-teen and early teen kids have my support.  That age is a turbulent one, so thanks to all educators for what you do, and remember you never know how one act of kindness might impact a young student's perspective for years to come.

Dear 16 Year Old Me

16 Year Old Me
Going to buy a car, Sun In in my hair

By Kevin Hunsperger

@kevinhunsperger & @my123cents on Twitter
Listen to the podcast

Follow my blog with Bloglovin 

If you're reading this for the first time in 2016, I wrote my 16 year old self this letter three years ago.  I've decided to share it again.  Thanks for checking it out.  

Dear Kevin:

Let's get this out there first and foremost.  You are a geek.   Twenty-four years later, you're still a geek. But it's okay, because in about three years you're going to meet your future wife in college.  Lisa will do wonders for you and help pull you out of your shell.  She will be your best friend and the mother of your three children.  Yes, three kids.  Plan for a hectic middle age period.

Before you get to all that though, there's quite a journey ahead.  For the most part, you'll do the right thing along the way, but here's some free advice to consider.

You just got your drivers license.  The car you are about to purchase should never be described as your "dream car."  It's a lemon.  In fact, the damn thing isn't going to start when you meet the owners at the bank, so wear comfortable shoes because you're walking home.

You've got two more years of high school.  Get more involved.  Your senior year, you'll find drama club and yearbook staff.  These are two activities that you will love, so my advice, join those clubs NOW.  Don't wait for people to approach you.  You're going to have to make the first move from time to time.  This applies to all aspects of life, yes even girls.

Study harder.  You have a ton of potential, but you won't ever fully reach it.  You procrastinate way too much.  I'll finish that thought later...  

You will work hard to get to where you are professionally.  For that, you should be proud.  But don't get complacent.  The road to where you landed was windy and uphill most of the way, but continue to work hard once you're there.

I know you're not crazy about running cross country and track.  Even though I advise you to join yearbook and drama, stick to running too.  Here's why.  After a nearly 20 year break,  you're going to start doing it again, and doing it better than you are now.  Once you hit you hit the big 4-Oh, you will be in better shape than you are now in high school.  Start eating healthier now and work out more.  Don't be intimidated when it comes to hitting the gym.  The important thing is to just start.

I guess the lecture is over.  Love the ones close to you and don't be afraid to tell them that, often.  Life is short and it can change in an instant.  Be yourself.  Things that matter at this moment will be a distant memory before you know it.  I know that's easier said than done, but trust me don't sweat the small stuff.  It'll be fine.

Take care,

Kevin

P.S. The Sun In idea you're about to follow up on is not a good one.  Remember, be yourself, not how you think others want you to be.  Brown hair and brown eyes are just fine.