Love, Truth, Honor

Mu Kappa receiving the charter

By Kevin Hunsperger
@kevinhunsperger & @my123cents on Twitter

Twenty-one years ago I went through rush on the campus of Southeast Missouri State University.  For those who don't know, rush is the process of looking for a fraternity or sorority to join. After going to a handful of houses and parties and other gatherings, I didn't feel like the ones I'd looked at were the right fit for me.

While I was walking to class one day, I saw a flier for Sigma Nu.  The fraternity was not yet on campus, as this was to be a new group.  I attended the rush meeting where I saw several guys I'd met through my two years at SEMO.  We were told that night that it would be a long and difficult process to go from colony to chapter status.  It was something that core group of men was going to have to build from the ground up.

Initially, I wasn't sure I was up to the task and didn't go back.  But about a month later, my interest was piqued again.  I met with the guys and was extended a bid.  We spent that year working hard to fulfill the requirements set forth by the national fraternity to earn chapter status.  And like we were told that first night, it was not easy.

Snakes on Ice 1995

Over the course of 12 months, we accomplished all the goals put in front of us, and in October 1994, the Mu Kappa Chapter of Sigma Nu fraternity was born.  There were 32 Founding Fathers who helped bring this chapter to life.  In just a few weeks, many of those men and the hundreds of others who have followed in our footsteps will celebrate the milestone.

Prior to an intramural game (I was the photographer)

Some have said joining a fraternity or sorority is just a way to buy friends.  I don't see it that way at all.  I've always been an introvert, so joining Sigma Nu was a great way to break out of my shell and meet a variety of new people.  The last two and a half years of my college career were spent as a member of the fraternity. I held offices in that time like Social Chairman (I know, that was kinda weird) and Recorder.  My entire time in college was nothing less than fun, but I have countless memories of the times I spent with my brothers.  I've made lifelong friendships as a result.

Others question the hazing aspect of being Greek.  Sigma Nu was founded on a no hazing principle.  In my years with the fraternity I was never hazed, nor was anyone else on our campus.  We lead the way nationally and at SEMO on the issue.  We also raised the bar by making sure our candidates and active members all kept grades above the standards set by the university.  That's something still happening 20 years later.

Under the Sea

There are plenty of memories from those days.  The shots of Wild Turkey prior to our Executive Board meetings.  The trips to get Frozen Cokes after chapter meetings.  The time I dressed like the Little Mermaid for the Alpha Xi Delta Rose Bowl.  We bought a house and completely renovated it top to bottom.  A handful of us drove to Panama City Beach for Spring Break.  The men of Sigma Nu joined me the night I proposed by serenading my new fiancee with the song Sigma Nu Girl.

The night I proposed 

I've done a  lot of things in my life.  One of my proudest accomplishments remains being a part of the Founding Fathers and helping create a still very successful fraternity.  I can't wait to celebrate this big anniversary with those who helped make it happen.

Here Come the Grooms

The happy night!

By Kevin Hunsperger 
@kevinhunsperger & @my123cents on Twitter 

I’ve been to weddings and receptions at fancy country clubs, wineries, ball stadiums, and even a pumpkin patch. But never did I think I would travel all the way to New York City and Central Park for a ceremony. My wife and I recently had the pleasure to do just that. Our friends, Brian and Keith, tied the knot on our anniversary in the “City That Never Sleeps.”

We met Brian, who we often refer to as Hammy or just Hampton, back in 1994 while attending Southeast Missouri State University. Brian and I became fast friends in our fraternity, Sigma Nu. 

The college years...

Even after he transferred to Indiana University, we remained in touch. After school, when we all moved to the St. Louis area, the friendship continued. This was at a time before social media existed, so people really had to put an effort into remaining friends. Eventually, I started a career and we moved to Alabama. Brian was there to help us as we traveled six hours from home that rainy day in November 1997. Distance became a factor, we still talked on the phone and exchanged emails. We had dinner a couple of times when we visited home, but then he moved away as well. That’s when the phone calls and emails became less frequent. By that point we were living in Indiana and had a kid. One of the last points of contact I remember having happened when Brian sent an outfit for our newborn son. I think our last phone conversation was about the 2000 Presidential Election and the hanging chads controversy. 

I remember touching base again after we moved to southern Illinois, which isn’t far from where he grew up. He was in Texas, and I had contacted him again after Hurricane Rita. Up until that point he’d been pretty private, but said “we are fine”, so I knew then that he had someone in his life. He never elaborated, and I didn’t ask. 

The Anniversary Party

About six months later, Brian sent Lisa and I a heartfelt email explaining why he had been so distant over the last six years. He opened up to us and said he was gay. He hoped that it wouldn’t change anything and he’d like to be in touch with us more. I know it was hard for him, because he had lost some friends along the way as he told them. We quickly added each other to our Top 8’s on Myspace, remember when that was a thing? Eventually we all got Facebook too, and Lisa and I couldn’t wait to meet Hammy’s longtime partner Keith. 

In 2009, I went to Wrestlemania 25 in Houston and flew in a couple of days early so I could head to Beaumont and visit with Brian and Keith. Even though a decade had passed, it was like nothing had changed. We remembered the old times and caught up with each other too. In 2011, Lisa and I traveled to Beaumont for their 10-year anniversary. They threw an amazing black tie party, which included a hilarious parody video of them as Mitchell and Cam from Modern Family. They received videotaped messages from the many Broadway stars they’ve met in their travels to New York City.

Brian, Keith, and Kyle

A few months ago, we received an invitation to their wedding in New York. Lisa and I could not wait to celebrate the love and friendship that now spans two decades. The ceremony was held at the Cop Cot in Central Park. It took some time to find, but we eventually located it (it’s a big park) and witnessed our friends promise to love and cherish one another, just as Lisa and I had done 17 years to the day prior. One of their friends from Broadway, Kyle Dean Massey of Pippin, sang during the ceremony. The two then walked down a path as all the guests tossed yellow rose pedals at them. A man in the park sat and watched with a huge grin and even recorded the moment with his phone. It was great to be a part of this special day. 

The Skivvies!
She is wearing her bra and panties

The fun continued on at the restaurant Joe Allen. Dinner was amazing, and included lobster and shrimp sliders. I’d never had anything like it before. We eventually headed to the after party, at 54 Below. The band, The Skivvies, who perform in their underwear, entertained us. There were several special guests who took the stage and sang a variety of mashups. Keith got up on stage and dropped his drawers for a special tribute to Brian. 

 It was a party like no other, and I know Lisa and I are both blessed that Brian and Keith included us in the celebration. We wish them much love and happiness for the rest of their lives.

MTV Didn't Want This Video...

Lean on Me

By Kevin Hunsperger
@kevinhunsperger & @my123cents on Twitter

It's hard for me to believe that 20 years have passed since I took my first class in video production at Southeast Missouri State University.  I had switched majors from radio to corporate video, which included learning how to use a camera and edit video. It was 1994 and we were using three-quarter inch equipment.  So you had a camera that connected to what was essentially a VCR, that's where the tape went.  These two components ran off of a "battery belt" that the photographer strapped around their waist.  It was quite the set up.

The first project in my first (and what ended up being only) video class was shooting and editing a music video.  I checked out the equipment one afternoon and went to my residence hall with a plan of recreating Kenny Rogers' "The Gambler."  Several of my floor mates gathered as I got various shots of them playing cards.  I didn't like how it turned out, so I went back to the drawing board.

The breakup

I came up with a plan to do Michael Bolton's version of "Lean on Me."  Yes, I am a Michael Bolton fan, judge me if you must.  I enlisted the help of some of my Sigma Nu fraternity brothers and a sister from Alpha Xi Delta to recreate a breakup and then the bonding of two buddies.  I learned a very valuable lesson with this shoot.  The song is about four minutes long.  That day, I thought if I recorded four or five minutes of video, I'd be just fine.  Anyone who has ever edited anything before knows that's WRONG!

I remember sitting in that dark editing bay for the two hours that I could reserve it for.  The glow of the monitors and the buttons on the board providing the only light.  I sat and cursed and cried as I got more and more frustrated with trying to figure out how to put the music track down and then cover it with the video I had shot. Once I finally figured it out and had to repeat several shots throughout the video, I sat in horror when it was time to share our projects with the class.  My professor didn't judge too harshly and I actually got a B on this, but there's no way I deserved such a high mark.

Ridin' away 

This was the most frustrating and stressful thing I did in college. I eventually changed the focus of my major and dropped the next video production class because back then it didn't sink in for me. Never did I imagine that I'd eventually be doing this nearly every day of my professional life.

So without further ado, enjoy the magic of my first masterpiece some 20 years after its original release.

She Said Yes, Obviously

Down on bended knee...

By Kevin Hunsperger
@kevinhunsperger & @my123cents on Twitter

March 15, 1994 I asked one question that changed my life forever (most days I'll say for the better). I was a junior in college and had been dating the love of my life for nearly two years.  It wasn't long after Lisa and I started dating that I knew she was the one for me.

It was a Tuesday night and Lisa had just gotten home from work.  I had talked with my Sigma Nu brothers about getting some help with my proposal.  They agreed and about 30 of us gathered outside Towers South on the campus of Southeast Missouri State University. We waited outside on that chilly night as one of my lifelong friends, also named Kevin (and who coined my Dexter nickname) convinced Lisa she needed to come downstairs.  I think he told her he needed help getting my birthday gift upstairs and asked for her assistance.  I don't know if she really bought it, but the two of them soon emerged from the building.

Showing off the "rock" 

Once they made it to the middle of walkway, I emerged from behind another building, followed by my brothers.  They formed a circle around us and I handed Lisa and stuffed bear, a single red rose, and a dozen white roses (the flower of my fraternity).  I took her hand and got down on one knee and told her how much I loved her and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I asked her to marry me as I nervously slipped a ring onto her finger.  She said yes and as we hugged and kissed, my brothers belted out the tune "Sigma Nu Girl."  

After several rounds of handshakes, hugs, and congratulations, Lisa and I made our way back up to her room.  We may or may not have celebrated with some Boone's Farm wine.  Like I said, we were both living on campus at the time and drinking alcohol, especially by minors is prohibited.  I do not condone such behavior by any current or future student reading this post.

Us with that bear (which she still has)

Our engagement ended up lasting longer than either of us had originally planned.  We wanted to wait until we were both out of college.  We finally got hitched more than three years after I popped the question.  Several of those Sigma Nu brothers were at the wedding and reception, and serenaded us once again with "Sigma Nu Girl" and "The White Star of Sigma Nu."  

It's hard for me to believe it's been 20 years since I asked Lisa to marry me.  The adventures we've shared since then have been incredible.  There are plenty more in store for us.  Babe, I love ya.

Facing 40: The Warrior Dash

Sigma Nu Warriors
Warrior Dash 2012
Photo by Stephanie

By Kevin Hunsperger
@kevinhunsperger on Twitter

Earlier this month I started a new section on the blog called "Facing 40" where I will share experiences and other information as I approach my 40th birthday in March.  I have also publicly vowed to get into better shape and share those successes and failures with you as well.

Over the summer as I was out on a run, I thought I needed something more challenging than a 5K.  I'm not saying 5Ks aren't difficult, but as I get older, I wanted to prove that I could do more than just run something that I've done a handful of times before.  So I started seeking out other races or events that might fill that need I was having.  A couple of fraternity brothers of mine from Sigma Nu told me they were going to be doing the Warrior Dash.  I looked up the race online and was a bit intimidated by what I saw on the official website.  There was fire, mud, and high obstacles to climb during a 5K race.  This was just the something I needed.  It was a challenge I wanted to take.

I kicked up my running routine, hitting more hills and courses off the beaten path.  I also started working out more.  I do 50 pushups first thing in the morning now.  It's all a part of building that upper body strength, which is needed on a couple of the obstacles.

As I packed my bag and headed up to the race (which was about 3 hours away from where I live), I started to feel a bit anxious.  What if I wasn't ready?  What if I fell from one of the obstacles and broke a bone?  After reading the website and the waiver form these were real possibilities.  They also bring up that they're not responsible for anyone who dies during the race.  Dies?  Really?  But I quickly learned that the website's bark was much worse than it's bite.

Good as gold
Photo by Stephanie

I spent the night with a friend I've known my entire life.  My buddy Kevin grew up one street over in my subdivision.  We were in scouts together and eventually ended up at the same university and in the same fraternity.  One point about Kevin is that over the last 10 months, he's lost more than 130 pounds. I was super stoked to hear that he'd be joining the handful of other brothers running the Warrior Dash.  Anyway, on my way to the hotel that Kevin and his wife were staying, I realized I forgot my shoes at home.  I bought a cheap pair at Walmart knowing they'd get destroyed in all the mud and muck we'd be running through.

Saturday morning we met up with our other buddies, Dan, Pete, and Mark.  We discussed the race details, as Dan and Mark had participated before.  We all agreed that no matter how far apart we got during the race, we'd all finish together.  With hundreds of people lined up ready to run in our heat we took off at a relatively slow pace.  We were shoulder to shoulder for probably the first mile of the race.  At one point when in the woods, many runners had to stop and walk up the hill ahead of us because there was no room to move.  Once we reached the top, people started spreading out and the running resumed.  At nearly the mile and a half mark the first major obstacle appeared.  It was a mud pit we had to go through on our hands and knees.  I made it through pretty clean until the end when I got stuck.  The mud was caked on my hands, which was just the beginning of the mess.

Coming out of the mud
Photo by Jason

The course was filled with seven other obstacles.  There were old cars to climb over, net walls to scale across, and barbed wire to crawl under.  Once we climbed over the giant rope wall, all five of us reunited.  We ran to the next obstacle which was another net wall.  After conquering that we jumped the rows of fire ahead of us.  Then the final test, making our way through a massive pit of thick mud.  Oh yeah, and there's barbed wire over portions of the pit that we had to duck.  It was so cold, yet it was so much fun.  As we emerged from the mud it was a race to the finish.  But with all the mud and water it made for a very slick surface.  With just steps to go my feet went out from under me and a went down like a deck of cards.  My ego was the only thing that suffered an injury, although my body was kinda sore after that.

Celebrating a job well done
Photo by Stephanie

The fire department was on hand to hose us off and the five of us enjoyed a beer and the shared stories of the race with one another.  Another one of our brothers, Jason, came along to cheer us on and caught up with us as well.  It was a great way to spend part of the day, knowing that I could do something that I feared for so long.  Not only did I conquer that fear, but I also know we helped out a good cause at the same time (St. Jude Children's Research Hospital) and I got to spend part of the day with friends that I haven't seen in years.  I'm already looking forward to next year's race and hopefully with more members of our posse.