Crushed with fear

Kevin at 15

By Kevin Hunsperger

@kevinhunsperger & @my123cents on Twitter

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Tales of my teenage years and the mild angst I experienced seem to do well here. So here's another story from those days gone by, but hopefully with a lesson wrapped up in it too. I'd like to think my awkwardness will pave the way for some other young person to not follow in my footsteps. 

Picture it, February 1989. I'm a sophomore in high school, a month away from turning 16 and getting my license. I thought having a license and a car would increase my odds at a social life and help me break out of my shell. It did not, but that's not what this story is about.

Back to that night, for some reason, I got dressed up and went to the "Heart Hop" Valentine's dance. I went alone but hung out with friends at the dance as we awkwardly would make our way to the bleachers when a slow song would start to play.

There was a girl there that I had been crushing on for some time, despite not ever once talking to her. We had mutual friends and through the course of the night, one of them informed me that she would dance with me if I asked her. I thought my heart would hop right out of my chest just thinking about asking her to dance. Even though I was given a guaranteed "yes" to my request I was still paralyzed with fear.

Stock photo

Then it happened, Chris De Burgh's Lady in Red started playing. I mustered up the courage and asked my crush to dance. She agreed and we moved onto the dance floor. Now for the awkward part. We didn't talk for the entire 4 minutes and 17 seconds of the song. When it was over I thanked her and we both went our own ways. We didn't speak again until we had a class together our senior year.

My apprehension to follow-up was based on fear and my belief that if she was interested, she would make the next move. I have no idea if she was or wasn't, but the lesson learned here is to not wait for the opportunity to knock. I love this quote from The Rock:

That's the case for EVERY walk of life. Whether you're a teenage boy trying to find the courage to ask out a girl or getting your career jumpstarted. For a long time, I kept waiting for news directors to call me with a job offer. I still sit and wait for WWE to stumble upon my work and call me. I know that's really not going to happen, but I think about it. More realistically I keep telling myself my blogs are going to catch someone's eye and they'll contact me with an amazing freelancing gig. I'm still not breaking out of my shell and pursuing those clients like I should be. 

It's a work in progress some 28 years after that dance in the gymnasium of good ol' Northwest High School. Don't let your fear of the unknown force you out of the game completely.  As Gary Vee once said, "You're better off going 1 for 5 than going 0 for 0." 

Yo, Class of '91, let's kick it!

By Kevin Hunsperger

@kevinhunsperger & @my123cents on Twitter
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Sorry for the cheesy title, but when I think back to my senior year of high school, Vanilla Ice's Ice Ice Baby is one of the first songs that comes to mind.  It's hard to believe it's been a quarter century since the pomp and circumstance that filled the air that warm May night.  About 400 of us donned blue or white caps and gowns and walked that aisle as be prepared to start the next phase of our lives.

The ceremony ended with a giant American flag made of fireworks lighting up as the sun was going down on the football field.  Remember this was when Operation Dessert Storm was coming to an end and the mood that year was especially patriotic. Eager graduates cheered as our parents and other loved ones wiped away tears of joy marking this first major milestone in our young lives.

Evolution of a geek

Most of my high school memories at Northwest are fond ones.  I've enjoyed social media over the last eight years and being able to get reacquainted with old friends.  Connections have been made with classmates that I didn't really hang out with either which is cool. But there's something about meeting in person and catching up (legally) over an adult beverage.

On Saturday, June 18 these middle age lions can roar once again.  Our 25th reunion is happening at LeMay Park.  Bring your spouse and kids and spend the day catching up with old (not really) friends.  A cookout is planned, so bring a side dish, drinks and all your memories from those days of glory.  Hope to see you there.  Learn more here.

10 Best Things Written in My Yearbook

Class of '91

By Kevin Hunsperger
@kevinhunsperger & @my123cents on Twitter
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My kids came home this week with their yearbooks, which instantly makes me think of the good ol' days when I was in junior high and high school.  Back then, I was always excited to get classmates to sign my book.  Most of the time the blurbs were generic "you're a nice guy" and "glad we had 'such and such' class together" and  "keep in touch."  

Looking back, I realize I was a nice, funny and sweet guy.  Never quite made a love connection in those days.  And despite requests to KIT I did not do a good job at that until Facebook was created.  Here are ten of my favorites, some are funny and others just make me feel good reading again nearly 25+ years later.

10.  "I just wanted to be the first to sign your crack!" - written on the inner hinge of the book Freshman year

9.  "You're an extremely sweet person.  I'm glad we were friends this year.  I admire you for your chipper moods and your great sense of humor.  I hope you can look back at NHS with many fond memories, because it will have many of you.  Best of luck." - Senior year

8.  "Well sweetie I have to hand it to you, you are surely one terrific guy.  I'll never forget you or all of your funny jokes.  We've had a lot of fun together.  Kev, I just want to thank you for being you.   You're the best."  - Senior year

7.  "Wow, 13 years in the making and we've finally made it!!!  Yeah!  Kev, your personality and sense of humor are great!  I will miss you so much next year!  You are a terrific guy and I know you will find that perfect someone at SEMO!  Best of luck in all your future endeavors.  You deserve the best, so don't settle for less.  I love ya Kev!" - Senior year.  She was right.  I met my wife less than a year later at SEMO.

6.  "Knowing you has been quite an experience.  We have both gone through so many ups and downs together (especially with women) I'm glad to hear you and Jim are going to be roomies at SEMO.  I know you will have a blast down there, I'll have to come down sometime so you can show me all the new hot babes you're going to be meeting.  I hope we will keep in contact for the rest of our lives.  You will always be a true and honest friend." - Senior year

5.  "... I hope you get the best out of life!  I know if anyone will succeed you will.  You are a great guy Kev and I love you dearly.  Let's always stay friends.  I'm gonna cry if I don't stop here.  Good luck in the fall!" - Senior year

4.  "Much success in all you attempt, esp. spelling." - C. Dickinson (8th grade English teacher)

3.  "... You've got a terrific sense of humor!  You're always so nice to me.  Don't forget me Kevin.  I know you'll do wonderful next year at college.  You're special to me.  Take care of yourself!" - Senior year  

2.  "Well I never got to know you this year, but everyone seems to know you like me (Even though I have no idea how you know me or why you like me.)  One of these days you're gonna introduce yourself to me.  I've heard a lot about you.  People say you're a sweet guy, so I guess you are.  Good luck in whatever you do.  Have a fun summer, I know will.  Love ya (protecting girl's identity) P.S. Always remember: Always follow your dreams and shoot for the stars.  May all your days be as bright as a rainbow and as lucky as the pot of gold underneath!" - I shared a slow dance with this girl during sophomore year and didn't say anything to her during it, that's how awkward and shy I was.  

1.  "Good luck and keep wishing to get a piece of (protecting girl's identity)." [Then a sarcastic friend added to this] "Even if it's only her middle finger."  - 8th grade 

I Came in Like a Bowling Bowl

By Kevin Hunsperger
@kevinhunsperger on Twitter
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By know you've probably seen NBA legend Shaq tumble and fall on the set of TNT.  The world is laughing and creating memes of the now famous incident.  It's reminding me of a similar situation I experienced nearly 25 years ago. Luckily (or maybe not) there were no smart phones or cameras around to capture the incident.  So no memes at my expense.

Picture it, a fresh (pimple) faced 18 year old, uncomfortable in his own skin but trying to make a good impression on a girl he was crushing on.  Okay, I'll stop the third person talk... Anyway I was  a senior in high school and a part of the Key Club.  The service group was celebrating the upcoming end of the school year at the local bowling alley, White Oak Lanes.  

The girl in question, will remain nameless, had a boyfriend. That didn't matter to me as I'd hoped my sweet bowling skills and witty sense of humor would be enough to woo her.  It was the tenth and final frame, and I approached the lane.  I eyed the arrows on the floor in front of me and pins at the end of the lane.  Then with all my might I prepared to send that 12 pounds of polyurethane screaming down the lane.

Not the incident in question
I don't know who that is 

But I stepped over the foul line.  I heard that annoying buzz and then my foot hit the waxy floor on the other side.  That action caused my other foot to follow.  I then went awkwardly into the air with the ball still in my hand.  At some point, it slipped away and my body came crashing down with a THUD.  I laughed for a split second before I panicked, wondering what had happened to the ball.  My fear went away when I heard it land in the gutter not far from my head. It then slowly rolled away.

Several people came to see if I was alright and as I laid there. I couldn't help but laugh out loud.  Tears streamed down my cheeks I was laughing so hard. Then I bellowed "I'm soooooooo embarrassed."  That gave everyone else approval to laugh, the girl included.  Luckily I only bruised my ego, but I didn't let that derail the good time.  But that was my last bowling excursion with that group.

 

Give Me An N

The jacket still fits...
But there's no letter on it.

By Kevin Hunsperger
@kevinhunsperger & @my123cents on Twitter

I am not now, nor was I ever an athlete.  I played one failed season of little league more than 30 years ago and a few seasons of soccer, both indoor and outdoor.  Beyond that, the only other athletic competition I was ever involved in was cross country and track in high school

The JV letter

I wasn't great at either, but it was something I did to be social and to kinda stay in shape.  I also knew doing it would be my only way of earning a varsity letter in high school.  This was important to me, why I don't know.  For Christmas during my sophomore year, my parents bought me a Letterman's jacket.  I remember how cool I felt wearing it, with my last name embroidered across the front.  I had already earned my JV "letter" the 91 that went on the sleeve to correspond with the year I was set to graduate.

Letterless with the Dr. Boyle
Pic from an article about my Eagle Scout project at the school

Despite not being very good at running, I was told if I stayed with it, I would eventually earn that big white N to proudly display on my scrawny chest. So I continued to lace up and finish at the back of the pack meet after meet, year after year. But I knew that persistence would eventually pay off.

Somewhere along the way I took my eye off that prize.  My senior year I joined three new clubs: Key Club, the yearbook staff, and the drama club.  Because the fall production was going on at the same time as cross country, I would sometimes skip practice to attend rehearsals. I was also working at the time, which didn't help with my time management skills.  I even missed a couple of cross country meets.

But on Fall Sports Awards night I sat there eagerly waiting for my name to be called and handed that varsity letter.  After all, I was a senior and I had earned it, right?  Wrong.  My name didn't get called.  I was disappointed and it took me a long time to accept the fact that it was MY fault I didn't get that letter.  I tried playing the blame game, but I'm the one who made the choice to go to different activities and skip cross country.  I got too confident I'd get the letter.

The letter I earned for Key Club

Right before graduation, at the spring awards night, I did receive a letter.  It was for the work I'd done in Key Club, a group devoted to community service.  I felt somewhat satisfied with that big blue N, but the athletic letters were white.  The blue ones were also awarded to female athletes.  It's for that reason I never had it attached to my jacket.  It sits in a box of mementos, now nearly a quarter of a century old.  My jacket still hangs in my closet, tucked behind other coats and sweatshirts.  When I see it, I think back to how I slacked off and didn't get the reward at the end.

That's what motivated me to write this.  It's another reminder to finish what you start.  I regret not seeing my senior season all the way through.  Now it's more about just not getting the letter.  It's about letting myself and others down along the way.  I don't regret joining the other activities though.  I just wish I would have been wiser about the timing of everything, but at 17 we think we know everything.  Hopefully my actions will be a lesson for my kids in the near future.