Scariest of All-Time: Doink the Clown

By Kevin Hunsperger

@kevinhunsperger & @my123cents on Twitter

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I've read some polls that show as many as 42 percent of Americans are scared of clowns. I do not fall into that category, as I dressed up as a clown for Halloween when I was in third (maybe?) grade. It became even more apparent when Doink the Clown arrived in the WWF in late 1992. 

Personally, I loved this gimmick. Matt Bourne was perfect as the evil clown, terrorizing the babyface Superstars on the roster. His match with Crush at WrestleMania IX is in my favorite moment from that show (I'm not kidding). I thought everything was going great for the character until he turned good in late summer 1993. Then Bourne left and the character lost its luster for me.

When Dink was added to the mix, I checked out on Doink. As far as I'm concerned he never should have turned but I totally get why. What better character to use as a marketing tool to kids than a lovable clown. He may not have been as friendly as Bozo, but fans seemed to enjoy his silly antics and giving bad guys like Bam Bam Bigelow grief.

I will admit I did get a kick out of Men on a Mission and the Bushwhackers coming out as Doinks at Survivor Series 1993. By this point, the fear the character induced was gone and that's okay. I wish rumors of Glen Ruth playing DTK had come to fruition. I think an updated version of the character would have worked during the Attitude Era. I think it could even work now, but I'll enjoy the nostalgia when Doink shows up from time to time. 

Foreign Object Friday: Doink's fake arm

Doinks in action with the arm
Courtesy: WWE

By Kevin Hunsperger

@kevinhunsperger & @my123cents on Twitter

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WrestleMania Week is in full swing and once again I'm keeping that theme with today's FOF. It's my favorite moment from WrestleMania IX. I don't know if that says something about me as a fan or the rest of the card that day from Caeser's Palace.

The match was Doink the Clown vs. Crush. Crush was the orange and yellow Kona Crush and not the darker bad ass Crush or Demolition Crush. Doink was an evil clown who was actually more over with the fans than the WWE probably intended him to be at the time.

Near the end of the match, Doink got caught in Crush's vice grip. As he flapped his arm's wildly, referee Joey Morella got hit and knocked down. Crush released the hold and Doink tried getting away. But he found himself again locked in the former tag team champion's finishing hold. That's when things got fun...

Wham!
Courtesy: WWE

A second Doink got into the ring, carrying a fake arm. Doink II whacked Crush across the back, which caused him to release the hold again. The original Doink grabbed Crush's arms and held him as the arm was smashed into the big man's head a couple of times. The new Doink disappeared in time for Morella to regain consciousness and make the three count for Doink.

"It was an illusion!"
Courtesy: WWE

The two clowns then posed together in the ring, in mime-like fashion. The original shouted the phrase "It was an illusion!" implying he was the only clown in the ring. That phrase made an impact on my wife (girlfriend at the time) as she was not a wrestling fan at the time, but perked up and watched the ending of this match. She would randomly use the phrase in the weeks after WrestleMania IX. It was kinda awesome.

SURVIVOR SERIES: Favorite team number 8: All Americans (1993)

The All Americans
Courtesy: WWE

By Kevin Hunsperger

@kevinhunsperger & @my123cents on Twitter
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I'm counting down to the 30th annual Survivor Series by looking back at my ten favorite teams in the history of the event. Survivor Series ranks among my favorite events every year and if you've read this blog in the past you know I'm a fan of the traditional elimination matches. 

I was a big fan of Lex Luger's growing up. When he arrived in the WWF in 1993 as the Narcissist, I welcomed him with open arms. I thought the gimmick suited him perfectly, but a few months later he became a patriot in his quest for the WWF Championship, held by Yokozuna. While I don't think he pulled off the gimmick as well as he did as the Narcist, I still supported Luger.

At Survivor Series 1993, he assembled a team of the company's top talent to take on a group led by Yokozuna. Both teams lost members prior to Survivor Series. The undefeated Tatanka was taken out by Ludvig Borga weeks before. Luger returned the favor and eliminated Pierre, one-half of the Quebecers from the Foreign Fanatics. 

Showtime
Courtesy: WWE

The Undertaker subbed for Tatanka while Crush took over for the missing Quebecer. I would argue the All Americans will go down as one of the best teams in the history of Survivor Series. All four men achieved amazing feats in wrestling. The Undertaker's resume speaks for itself. The Steiner Brothers won multiple tag team championships. Luger, while not a huge WWF success, wore gold many times in WCW and spent months as the top contender for the WWF World Title. 

Santa celebrates with Lex Luger

This show set the wheels in motion for the Undertaker to become the new number one contender as he and Yoko would do battle at the next event: The 1994 Royal Rumble. Luger ended up the sole survivor by beating Borga with the forearm of doom. And just like Bret Hart had done a year earlier, Luger celebrated in the ring with Santa Claus after the victory.

Top 10:

Team 9: Team WWF Survivor Series 2001

Team 10: New Day, King Barrett and Sheamus

Patriotic Lex Luger was a dud

Celebrating at SummerSlam 93

By Kevin Hunsperger

@kevinhunsperger & @my123cents on Twitter
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I don't write this to be disrespectful to Lex Luger. I am really a big fan of his. I've met Lex and he's a great guy. But on July 4, 1993 the WWF tried turning Luger into a great American hero. The intentions were good, but the execution was horrible.

Luger & Heenan: The potential dream team

Up until that point, Luger had been wrestling as The Narcissist. He'd been introduced to WWF fans earlier that year at the Royal Rumble by Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. A year earlier Luger left WCW after losing the world title to Sting. The original plan was for "The Total Package" to compete in Vince McMahon's World Bodybuilding Federation. However a motorcycle accident sidelined those plans.

Courtesy: WWE

I always had a hard time buying Luger as a good guy, even in his days in the NWA. Luger was a natural heel. He had the perfect body to play off that cocky, narcissistic jerk. He and Heenan would have been gold as a unit with Heenan doing the talking and Luger taking care of business in the ring. But the Brain had already retired from managing at that point. 

Turning Luger into a hero
Courtesy: WWE

WWF needed a new hero to fill the void that was going to be felt when Hulk Hogan left the company after losing the championship to Yokozuna. For whatever reason, WWF felt the need to have an all American hero face the giant Sumo star from Japan. Bret Hart, the former champion and the man who would eventually dethrone Yokozuna, was sidetracked with feuds against Jerry "The King" Lawler and Owen Hart. 

Crush as the hero?
Courtesy: WWE

Based on things I've read it appears backstage politics played a role in Luger not winning the title. If that's the case I don't understand why they'd completely change his persona. If they were looking for an American hero type to feed to Yokozuna who would be big enough to pose a threat to him without winning the belt, instead of decorating Crush in orange and purple, they could have gone with red, white and blue on him and pushed him a bit harder. 

I realize too that with Hogan gone, the WWF was just entering the steroid scandal. It's been stated before that McMahon was trying to avoid using larger than life muscular Superstars. So it could be Luger was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. 

Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger
Courtesy: WWE

Luger rose quickly and fizzled out shortly after the Lex Express experience. He got screwed over at WrestleMania X. I really thought he'd end up becoming WWF world heavyweight champion. Then I thought he and Davey Boy Smith as the Allied Powers would win the tag team gold, but that never happened either. I would have rather seen him stay heel and beat Bret instead of the Bob Backlund-Diesel switch. 

Overall, WWF bungled the Luger experience, not unlike other big name WCW/NWA stars who jumped ship. Terry Funk, Harley Race, Dusty Rhodes, The Road Warriors and The Steiners all come to mind. 

The Christmas Crush

Not the actual pin, but this is it.

By Kevin Hunsperger
@kevinhunsperger & @my123cents

This is a tale from my past that I should probably not be sharing with the world, or at least the dozens and dozens of people who will read it.  But my readers have requested more stories about me, so I'm going to oblige.  Plus, I figure it shows that I'm human and we've all had those moments from our childhood and teens years we'd rather forget, but those moments become lessons (some more funny than others)  By the way, the names have been omitted to protect the innocent.

Picture it: December 1987.  I'm 14 years old, a freshman in high school.  I had undergone a transformation of sorts since middle school.  I no longer had braces, a retainer, or a bionator mouthpiece that I wore over the course of my three years at North Jefferson Middle School.  Gone too were my glasses.  Over the summer, I got contact lens.  I felt a bit more confident in my appearance and was ready to try again with the fairer gender.

But I was still extremely shy.  In middle school, I had been shot down a few times and not in a kind way.  It wasn't like the girls I had asked out said "no", it was more like "HELL NO!!!!" or at least that's how it felt in my teenage mind.  But there was a girl in my third hour biology class who caught my eye.

For three months I waited for the right time to say something but never could muster up the courage.  So the night before the last day of school before Christmas break, I had a (not so) brilliant idea.  I would win her over with gifts.  But being a 14-year-old without a job or a clue, I didn't have a whole lot of resources or time to come up with something perfect or even good.

Who doesn't like candy canes at Christmas?

I looked in my closet and found a bright purple teddy bear on the shelf that I had won at a carnival the summer prior.  I plucked the bear from the shelf and grabbed some red and green yarn from my mom's sewing supplies and fashioned a stylish and festive necklace for the stuffed animal.  I rummage through my dresser drawers and came up with an ice skating snowman pin made by Hallmark that I had in elementary school.  I added it to an empty jewelry box I found.  I asked my dad to take me up to the local drug store and bought a giant peppermint stick, just in case my other gifts weren't sweet enough already.

Remember, I said I didn't have much money (or sense) and added the three poorly selected gifts into a big, brown grocery bag.  Yeah, I didn't even spring for some kind of Christmasy bag or at least tie a bow on that drab bag, I just headed to school with the paper sack.

I was a ball of nerves when I walked into class that morning.  I was one of the first ones to get there and I scoped the room to make sure my crush wasn't there yet.  She wasn't, and another girl asked me what was in the bag.  I explained what I had and told her who I was giving it to.  She immediately told me that it was a bad idea to give it to her myself.  She convinced me that she would give it to her and as I debated this in my brain, what little confidence I had left had vanished.  I handed her the bag and said: "give it to her, but don't tell her it's from me."

My idea of gift wrap.

At that moment, it made sense, but looking back, there was no card in the bag, so how would my crush know it was from me?  I couldn't even look at her the rest of the period, fearful she would figure out the gifts were from me and she'd come tap dance on what little self-esteem I had remaining.  The hour came and went and nothing was said.  Christmas break started and my family left for Florida.  I wondered the whole time if she'd figured out the gifts were from me or if she'd even kept the items.

I never confessed to the gift giving.  And you'd think that would be my high-quality learning experience, but it wasn't.  Through my high school years, I tried to "win over" a girl with gifts instead of actually talking and getting to know them.  Many times I'm amazed I ended up breaking out of my shell enough to meet my wife.  I guess it all takes time.

Merry Christmas.

Boo: Send in the Clowns

Doink the Clown
Photo courtesy: WWE

Editor's note:  The man behind the original Doink character, Matt Borne passed away on June 28, 2013.  Our thoughts and prayers go out to his family, friends, and fans.  Rest in Peace.

By Kevin Hunsperger
@kevinhunsperger & @my123cents on Twitter

I may be one of the few people out there who actually enjoyed Doink the Clown.  When he first showed up in the WWF in late 1992, a lot people criticized the gimmick.  I loved the idea of an evil clown terrorizing not just the fans, but the babyfaces too.

Doink for those who don't know was played by Matt Bourne, who wrestled on the very first Wrestlemania against Ricky Steamboat.  He worked in regional promotions like Pacific Northwest and World Class, achieving success in tag team competition. In the early 90's he was WCW's Big Josh, a babyface lumberjack who held the 6 man tag team titles at one point.

Doink vs. Crush
Wrestlemania IX

I feel like Doink really allowed Bourne's personality to shine.  It's similiar to how Goldust brought out the best of Dustin Rhodes.  Doink's feud with Crush was quite memorable to me.  The two battled it out at Wrestlemania IX.  I figured Crush would crush (pardon the pun) his opponent.  But the clown outsmarted the big man and a second Doink helped secure the win.  Nearly 20 years later, I still mutter the phrase "It was an illusion" the same way Bourne did after the second Doink scurried back under the ring.

Like all good things in wrestling, the heel Doink finally came to an end.  It was on an episode of Monday Night Raw in the fall of 93 when the clown threw a bucket of water or confetti on commentator Bobby Heenan.  A feud with Bam Bam Bigelow and Luna Vachon would follow with Doink picking up a little sidekick Dink.  By this point the gimmick jumped the shark and was painful to watch.

Doink vs. Heath Slater

There's still a version of Doink on the indie scene and we've seen some form of him on Raw recently, returning to battle Heath Slater.  It was the one match the One Man Band won in his battle with the legends.  Yes, I just used legend to describe Doink.  Some may disagree, but I was down with the clown, and one of these years for Wrestlemania I'd love to dress up like him.

Mania Memories: New Beginnings

Bret wins the title back (WWE)

By Kevin Hunsperger
@kevinhunsperger on Twitter

Wrestlemania 10 in my view was the start of a new era for the WWF.  Main stay main eventer Hulk Hogan was gone from the company.  Randy Savage was on his way out.  Roddy Piper was merely a special guest referee.

Workhorse Bret Hart proved to be the man that night by wrestling (and losing to) his younger brother Owen in what may be the best opening match in the history of Wrestlemania and later going on to defeat Yokozuna for the World heavyweight title.  I'm not a fan of repeat matches or main events for that matter at Wrestlemania, but the outcome of the match at 10 was much different than at 9, and with Piper as the special guest referee it added something different to the mix.

Close, but no cigar for Luger

Lex Luger had received a shot earlier in the night against Yoko, but lost when the special guest ref for that match, Mr. Perfect, disqualified Luger, thus turning heel.  I had really thought they'd go with a Luger win over Yoko and then have Hart beat Lex in the main event, just to have said Luger had a run as champ.  But that never happened, and Luger's push essentially died that night.

Doink and Dink teamed up against Bam Bam Bigelow and Luna Vachon.  Let's never speak of that match again.  Savage ended up beating Crush in a falls count anywhere match.  This would be one of the Macho Man's final appearance in the WWF/E forever.  Kinda sad to think about that.  Men on a Mission nearly won the WWF tag team titles, beating the Quebecers by disqualification which should tell you something about the state of the tag team situation back in 1994.  Women's wrestling was back on the card for the first time years, with Alundra Blayze beating former champion Leilani Kai.  The Undertaker, who had started his impressive streak 3 years earlier, wasn't on the show.  He was selling the beat down he took at the hands of Yokozuna a couple months earlier at the Royal Rumble.

Shawn comes crashing down (WWE)

Yes, Wrestlemania 10 had a different look and feel than previous Wrestlemanias, and the match that probably set it apart the most was the ladder match between Razor Ramon and Shawn Michaels.  This was the first time a ladder match had been done on WWF television, much less at a pay per view.  Ramon and Michaels put on a contest for the ages, it's a ladder match that has certainly stood the test of time and is one of the best ever.  In the end, Ramon was the winner, walking out with the Intercontinental title. That match, along with Bret's win and Owen's earlier in the night set a new tone for the WWF.  The big man didn't have to be at the helm as champion.  It truly was a new generation.

What are your thoughts of Wrestlemania 10?  Share them here or on Facebook.